If you are a Selfish Person, Maybe you shouldn’t get Married At all?

En_boca_cerrada_no_entran_moscasIn islam, women are portrayed as selfish if they don’t want to share their husbands.

Imams may say it is understandable that women are selfish, they are insufficient in reason and religion after all, so they must be forgiven for their jealousy and selfishness.

(As if they would be able to cope with having to share their wives!?)

Many muslim women support this view. They say polygyny is a test from Allah, it gives women the opportunity to fight their nafs, jealousies and selfishness.

These women tell the wives who do not want to share their husbands that they are disobedient and disrespecting both their husbands and Allah, that they are sinning.

Islamic fanatics, like the ones over at Polygamy411, keep saying that polygyny is there to make women less selfish by forcing them to share their husbands, and to make men less selfish by forcing them to care for more than one wife. One of the worst gender-racists there is a teacher who’s obviously allowed to teach gender racism and islamism to young women. Heinous!

I wonder, if you are basically selfish, wouldn’t it be better never to get married at all?

To me, marriage is about giving. It’s about having children, and once you have children your life doesn’t belong to you – they are your foremost responsibility.  If you can’t put their interests before your own, if you can’t sacrifice your own needs and desires to care for their needs – you should not be married at all. If you can not compromise, be happy because you make your spouse happy – then you should not marry at all. Is it really objecting to polygamy that is selfish? Or is the worst kind of selfishness maybe choosing polygamy at the expense of your wife, at the expense of your children????

 The sad thing is, warped women like this would never be able to see that all people must have the same rights. They would never be able to say that the rule “never do to another what you would not have them do unto you” applies to muslim men too. They would never be able to see that selfishness, jealousy and trying to lord it over your spouse are ugly qualities in men too.

Islamists like these are just as sick, just as warped, just as disgustingly discriminating as ever any member of the KKK. One group of people have rights over another group of people – same s**t.

(Does it scare you too that some of these people obviously get to teach?? :( )

5 thoughts on “If you are a Selfish Person, Maybe you shouldn’t get Married At all?

  1. Can anybody please explain why it is selfish if a woman doesn’t want to share her husband whilte it is not selfish if a man doesn’t want to share his wife? Why is it selfish if a woman wants to know what her husband is doing but it is not selfish if a husband wants to control his wife? And why is it selfish if a wife wants her husband to spend some time with her and the kids but it’s not selfish if a husband refuses to allow his wife to work or leave the house? And HOW can it not be selfish to leave your wife half the time and leave your kids half the time all through their childhood because you want to fall in love with someone else? Beats me.

  2. Belinda,
    You asked what I assume is a rhetorical question. ” why is it selfish if a woman wants to know what her husband is doing but it is not selfish if a husband wants to control his wife?”

    I think JennOJenn addressed that conundrum when she referred to “…a judgemental ideology where oppression comes from God. ”

    I think that instead of tackling their fears, women have attributed a divine origin to the inequitable situation between women and men. Instead of taking responsibility for their lives, women have developed a fantasy about an afterlife which will reward them for putting up with this shit in the here and now. I guess we’ll all find out.

  3. http://islamqa.com/en/108806

    Al-‘Allaamah Ibn al-Qayyim said: It is obligatory to fulfil these conditions which are the most deserving of being fulfilled. This is what is implied by sharee’ah, reason and sound analogy, if the woman did not agree to become a man’s wife except on these conditions, and if it were not obligatory to fulfil them, then the marriage contract would not be based on mutual agreement, and it would be making something obligatory upon her that Allah and His Messenger have not made obligatory.

    Al-Mulakhkhas al-Fiqhi (2/345, 346)

    Such women need to see what the scholars have to say. Women like Ana are making obligatory on women what Allah and his messenger have not made obligatory upon them.

  4. I believe so too. Religion is a security blanket, and women are using it to cope with fears and abuse. There are a lot of similarities between religion among women today, and religion among serfs of the early middle ages.

  5. I agree. Ana and her cronies are trying to somehow reinterpret rules to explain why they themselves stay in abusive situations. Furthermore, they are manipulating other women to stay and submit to abuse too. This is a well known psychological phenomenon among people who e.g. are being tortured or living in abuse. It makes their own situation feel less abnormal, less abusive and less unbearable.

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