Being a Second Spouse in Polygamy

Easter-Eggs-1I am working with Graham in the kitchen, preparing easter dinner. Right now I am taking a break, sipping a glass of wine and watching my man cleansing mussels while he’s singing and dancing along with Mungo Jerry. I love him so much.

The other day I asked him about being #2, I wondered if he ever thought about it like that.

He said that sometimes it can bug him that my first husband was the one who decided on the schedule, who came up with the four days and the vacation schedule and Graham has just had to adjust to that. So, just like most women in polygamy, Graham has found the schedule the hardest thing to adjust to.

But otherwise, he says, he doesn’t think of himself as #2. Our “marriage” is ours, he doesn’t allow my husband in. Graham has asked me not to phone or text my husband when he’s around, and I’ve always respected that, so has my husband. We simply keep our marriages separate. All good.

Graham says that sometimes jealousy eats into him, but he tries to keep it at bay.

The only thing that really makes him angry towards my husband is the children. Graham loves both my children and they love him. Graham can see how immensely and irrevocably my husband hurt the kids by becoming polygamous. So, he says this is the only thing that makes him hate my husband. I can understand that.

I wonder if muslim men who live in the West realize that becoming polygynous in a Western country where this is not acceptable might cost them their children? Or if they are so blinded by their thoughts of their “rights” that they don’t care?

To my children, today, Graham has become their dad. I think this is what hurts my husband the most.

And when my son’s children grow up, they will call Graham grandpa. :)

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