“I love you, more than anything. You’re my life. I would never leave you. If you decide to leave me, it’s your decision, you’d be the one destroying our marriage, giving up on our life. I’d never be happy again. You are the love of my life”
My husband’s words. He said them many times when he had become polygamous and I was breaking, falling to pieces.
Of course I knew he was the one destroying our marriage. But I also knew he was right saying he’d never leave me. The way he managed to make me responsible, to have me carry the weight of choosing, was extremely cunning. He made a crack whore out of me.
I have heard hundreds of similar stories, mainly from women in Western countries who find themselves trapped in forced polygyny.
Men always have strategies to make their wives submit to polygyny. Islamic fora and websites even give advice to men on how to convince their wives to accept polygyny.
* Tell her after the fact. It will shock her, and that will give you a chance to break her in.
* Spend money on her. This will make her accept that you have another wife.(Yes, this is an actual piece of advice from an islamic Q&A forum!)
* Tell her she must obey you and fear Allah. Stay away from her and give her nights to the other wife, this will make her jealous and afraid of losing you. If that doesn’t help, hit her.
Most islamic pro-polygyny sites and blogs are adamant that a man must be firm, a strong leader, to make polygyny a success. He must make his wives submissive and obedient, and make them follow the rules he sets to make polygyny as pleasurable as possible for him.
If a wife breaks down, chastise her and tell her she must be grateful Allah gave her half a husband, insted of mourning that he took half a husband from her and her children. If a wife says she will kill herself, it’s just because women are emotional and manipulative. Don’t fall for it! Tell her to fear Allah and go fuck your other wife, that will teach her a lesson! (What this man is to do when he returns and finds his first wife dead is unclear) If your first wife wants a divorce, just say no. If she threatens to leave you, just laugh in her face! Thank god, most muslim countries treat divorced women as lepers, so she won’t carry through, and even if she does she’ll soon be back since muslim countries won’t allow her to remarry and keep the children, and she won’t be able to feed herself without a husband. Isn’t it great?
Find it hard to believe anybody would be warped enough to give this kind of advice?
You can take a look here – and remember, a woman wrote this! (Oh, and please, read the comment from Abu Salman – that’s the perfect muslim polygamous husband for you!)
Muslim men are taught that all their base lusts and selfish desires are god given rights and that they are by divine right masters and heads. They are also taught that women are lacking in reason and intellectual ability, slaves to their biological inferiority, and that they must be treated like children. Brainwashed women submit to these “truths”, don their veils and make sure their awrah footsteps don’t disturb their male superiors.
The perfect muslim husband – is he really the man who can marry a second wife, and when his tortured first wife cries that she will take the children and leave him, answer her:
Ok. Have a nice life.