You showed me a version of this guide once, remember? Half in jest, half in earnest. “Guide on How to be a Good Muslim Wife”. Well, I have adjusted the guide somewhat, and hope you will find it beneficial reading. :)
Husbands must do everything they can to keep their wives pleased with them. The ideal husband combines three characteristics; he pleases his wife when she sees him by taking care to appear beautiful before her; he obeys her when she gives a command; he does never go against her wishes regarding his person or property.
To refuse to go with his wife when she calls him to bed is a grave mistake that a husband must avoid.If he is feeling jealous because she has just come from one of her other husbands, he must be patient and double his efforts to please her.
When a husband intends to fast, he may do so only with his wife’s permission. If he does not receive her permission, then she has the right to make him break his fast when he is observing it. The reason for this is that she might wish to exercise her conjugal rights with him, which she cannot do if he is fasting. It’s also extremely important that he keeps himself in good shape so he can make sex enjoyable every time for his wife, his own needs must take second place.
It is a husband’s duty not to allow anyone, that his wife does not want, to enter the house without her permission. He may not give anything away without her permission. He should avoid asking his wife for extra money and he should show immense gratitude for whatever is given to him.
A good husband is one who is true to his wife’s word if she commands him to do something. On a wife’s return home, a husband should receive her kindly and meet her with a good temper, a clean house, a nice meal and beautiful appearance. He should try not to neglect his wife’s needs nor ignore her demands. The more a husband takes care of his wife, the more he will be loved. Most wives consider their husbands’ care of them as an expression of their love.
A husband should make sure to treat all his wife’s friends and family with great respect. This is a mark of respect and honour for the wife.
Leaving the house frequently is a bad habit for a man. He should also not leave the house if his wife objects to his doing so. He does not have the right to leave the house without her express permission.
If a wife’s friends enquire about her, a husband should answer them but without indulging in lengthy conversation. Spending time with friends keeps a husband from giving his wife and his house the attention they deserve. Taking care of the house and running the household are the husband’s responsibility.
If the wife gives her husband permission to go out to work, this should not be seen as a licence to equality. In fact, the issue of also producing income to the households is something which might later act as a dividing factor between husband and wife. If the husband works outside the house, his income might delude him into thinking that he is in any way equal to his wife, or entitled to rights others than those she chooses to infer on him. This is not true. A husband should take his sole pleasure in subjecting himself to his wife. If his wife does not allow him to work, he must be satisfied with the level of comforts his wife can provide on her income and not pose unreasonable demands on her.
Speaking to or telling others about sexual matters between a husband and wife is a grave sin in Islam. This applies especially to the husband who must keep himself chaste. His sole sexual concern must be to give pleasure to his wife. He must also understand that it is her right and duty to seek intimate pleasure with her other husbands. A husband may never inquire about what takes place between his wife and her other husbands. Instead he must make sure she finds peace and pleasure in his company. He should not be afraid to express his love, need and affection for his wife. It will please her and bind her closer to the family; Moreover, if she does not find an attractive, loving man at home, she may be driven for solace elsewhere, outside the home.
Leadership in the family is given to the wife. For the husband to demand complete and full equality with his wife will result in having two heads in the family and this does not exist in Islam. However, the wife should not misuse her position. She should display love and affection and treat her husband well, give him enough food and only beat him when he is disobedient or rebellious.
If a husband remembers these rules, his marriage will be happy and he will feel fulfilled knowing his wife will be pleased with him.