A while ago a woman, a woman living polygyny, claimed that she would only discuss polygyny with people who are intelligent. She specified that “intelligent” in her book meant that they were pro-polygyny, muslim and willing to bow to her superior knowledge. She stated she would not discuss polygyny with any unintelligent person who’d resort to “name-calling”, e.g. say things like “you are worth something better than a man who’s sleeping with somebody else” :)
Since this woman repeatedly has stated that women are to subject to their husbands, be devoutly obedient and polygyny is a path to heaven for true believers, I didn’t really give her statement much thought.
But then again, the question of intelligence is interesting. Is accepting polygyny a matter of intelligence?
Since I was forced into polygyny, I’ve had the privilege to meet – both IRL and online, a lot of women living polygamy. Some of these women are happily polyamorous and living equal polygamy. All good. Most women however are living in unequal polygyny, sometimes even forced polygyny. These women are of all kinds. Some are highly educated, some are almost illiterate. They’re located all around the world. Most are muslim,.
Many of them seem to be highly intelligent.
Some of them have found pragmatic reasons to accept polygamy. “He provides for me, and as long as he coughs up he can fuck whomever he wants”. Ok, if that’s enough for some, it’s up to them. Others are staying because they have no choice. Theirs is a life in perpetual agony, unbelievable pain. They accept it because survival in hell is better than death.
Some women survive thanks to the Stockholm syndrome. They start defending polygyny, saying things like “My husband didn’t do this to me, God did”. They claim that whatever doesn’t kill you will make you stronger, that it’s a test. They turn viciously against anybody trying to open their eyes. They defend their keepers and tormentors, because admitting that they are victims of a horrible crime is even more painful than denying it.
They start reading the quran the way the devil reads the bible. I found e.g. a site where a woman who was obviously intelligent defended polygyny saying: “Polygamy is allowed unconditionally (so long as the husband treats his wives equally), unbound to time, place or people. To accept this fact is a part of my faith, whether I like it or not.”
This woman can read. Still she isn’t able to see the conditions explicitly stated in the quran. E.g. it says: You shall hand over to the ORPHANS* their rightful properties. Do not substitute the bad for the good, and do not consume their properties by combining them with yours. This would be a gross injustice. If you fear that you will not be equitable towards the ORPHANS*, then you may marry their mothers. You may marry two, three, or four. But this woman. like thousands of others, can only read the last seven words. It’s incomprehensible.
I believe an intelligent woman can accept polygamy. I believe an intelligent woman can accept polygyny too, if she sees it as a means of survival. She may choose to accept polygyny to survive. Her psyche may also choose any means available to survive, e.g. the stockholm syndrome.
For an intelligent woman to accept polygyny however, she has to give up her integrity, her mental health, her freedom of thought and expression – her soul.
So the interesting question is, can any intelligent man accept polygyny?